SGoldberg's Personal Finance Blog

The saga continues....

Today is Jan. 7, 2011 and there is a blizzard in MA and Conn. I have been promiced all week Pat would get in touch with me and give me the rest of my belongings she helped me store temporarily. I am talking on average 'tub' from Walmart; a minimum of 2 x 4 space. Should I offer storage fees? I am already coping with humor.

Thursday [yesterday] I tried to de-stress; I was 'legally blonde'! I received a half price manicure [$8]; had my hair trimmed and felt better.
Let me include some financial advice concerning self-improving and taking care of yourself especially in these times. First of all, I always go to the same hairdresser who is mature and qualified. I always bargain with her about prices [she laughs!]; I leave a tip, not a big one, but one that shows respect. My nails are generally done by me; my nails are natural so there is no extra expense for acrylic nails. Sometimes it is the little personal things we do for ourselves that give us the better rate of return.

But today, Friday, I have been OCD on this issue and it came to a head about 7p.m. I know my things, money, and etc. will not be return today. I called her cell phone for the 5th time and ask what I had done to deserve to be treated like this.

I am not victim rather continue to be proactive and pursue although there is a possibility I may not get my money back. I went on Facebook sent her a message. Facebook can tell a lot of information...I saw she had time to update her profile but address for Granville, MA wass not available [and when I have asked she's at work and gets busy doing something else]. Not a good sign.

So my common readers and thinkers, what is the cost of kindness? What is the cost of helping a friend or someone you thought was your friend? There is a definite monetary value whether we want to think about or not. There are no free lunches. One aspect I observed about myself was the anger was consuming me thus controlling me which is something none of want to pay that heavy of a price for! I was a southern belle turned southern hell!

In our divorce agreement it was decided I would move out of the martial home and live elsewhere. I was given 90 days; I could stay longer but it would cost too much $$$. Nonetheless, during my pursuit of an apartment, my friend and her husband and her 12 year old son lost the rental home they were leasing. I offered to let them stay with me temporarily; thinking a week or two. This was in October 2010 and I was to leave our home Dec 26, 2010 as agreed. Everyone concerned was aware of this.
I found a great apartment and started moving our Dec. 15, 2010. But this couple did nothing; and I mean nothing...empty promices of helping with the electric bill, propane bill, cable bill. They became instant free loaders.

Now I am usually a good judge of character and I admit I didn't see this. What I see is two people taking advantage of my vunerable position. I began seeing them as takers and mouchers and you name it. Any type of discuss was met with totally ignoring my request.

Well Dec. 26, 2010 comes and they still not move out. My friend knew any min. after I would bear the cost. At 8p.m. I asked for the keys; I planned to stay until they were done and take pictures just in case we had any court issues.

My friends husband begins yelling at me the I am crazy and have no right to demand the keys and I should be put in a mental institution because I am forcing them to leave. Imagaine my surprise. Instant bullies who don't care who they dump on.

Chapter 1:

I move to a small town in MA in 2009; my husband was laid off collecting unemployment and then decided to start collecting social security.

He was an electrical engineer and I am tax accountant. He move to US from Russia over 30 years ago, long before I knew him, and eventually settled down in a small town in MA. When he retired we had one rental home and a small cabin on a small lake. He became depressed, the money was being used for Vodka, and the abuse begins.
So we separate and decide to divorce. I met a friend who worked in one of three small food stores in this town. We talked often and she seemed supportive as a went through the normal ups and downs of divorce.

I recently helped a couple who I thought were my friends but learning I was mistaken. Everyone is having a tough time in this economy but at what cost do you 'use' 'take advantage' or 'abuse a friendship'?